Emotions and prayer

In the last few months I have felt particularly burdened.  I am involved in the lives several people, and it seems that recently there has a been a lot of crisis lately.  I have found myself really heavy as I pray for my friends and for the situations.  At times, more often than I would like to admit, I have been moved to tears.  Not just the gentle tears rolling down my cheeks, but real weeping, wracked with sobs.  This is definitely not normal for me.

At first I was concerned, but as I have processed this and talked with good friends, I am beginning to wonder if I am not moving toward the heart of intercession.  My wife read me a quote that said something like, "real prayer starts when words stop."  In Romans 8, Paul tells us, "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."  I am not sure that my weeping is exactly that, but I am starting to think that it is related.  I wonder if God is letting me feel a little of His heart for those I am praying for, or letting me bear some of their burdens.

There is a troubling aspect to this, because it seems to go against the peaceful feeling that prayer is "supposed" to produce.  I have often been encouraged to tone down my emotions, my passion.  I have been encouraged to be more like the meek and mild Christ, but now I am starting to reevaluate and to rediscover the emotional range available to us in scripture.  And let me tell you, when you start to read scripture with an eye for the emotions, there is a lot in there. 

The circles I run in seem to be concerned about your mental stability if you cry in church, or if you express anything beyond mild frustration at any time.  I wonder what they would make of Moses, Samuel, Elijah, David, Jeremiah, Hosea, or Paul, not to mention Jesus.  Jesus was sad.  Jesus wept.  Jesus was angry.   Jesus was so mad that he resorted to violence in the temple.  Yes, Jesus was also peaceful, joyful, and meek, but he experienced and expressed the whole range of emotions.  These were men following hard after God who also expressed a lot of emotion. 

I spent a lot of time praying through the Psalms today and I was amazed at the whole range of emotions contained and expressed as prayer.  It was wonderful to be able to pray the emotionally charged words of scripture back to God.  I just prayed my heart out today.  I am no longer going to try to censor my prayers to make sure that they fit into my, or anyone elses, preconceived notions of propriety.  Today I prayed with reckless abandon.  Interestingly enough, there was plenty of burden but no tears today.  Go figure.