Failing and Pressing On

Why do I want to beat myself up when I fail? Somehow I feel like I should be perfect like my Heavenly Father is perfect. These are Jesus’ words after all. I know that I do not measure up to this standard. So what is the point of this command? It can’t be that Jesus taught us this so that we would walk around all day striving for something unattainable in this life. It can’t be that he really expected us to be perfect as His heavenly Father is perfect. So what is it? Could it be that this command serves the same purpose as the Law? It must be that this command is meant to hold up the perfect standard and for us to see what we should be so that we will come to grips with our total inadequacy and to stop striving, but rather to throw ourselves upon His grace. If we say that we have no sin we deceive ourselves. We are all sinners, even when we are saints.

So what do I do with this? Do I just give up and wait for God to make me holy, like the man who sits on the couch watching an exercise video and waiting to get healthy? No, I must rise up and submit myself to the One who has begun a good work in me. He will be faithful to complete the work that He has started. He gave me a new heart and a new mind, but He cannot complete the work without my willing cooperation. My only part is to submit to Him. I must tune my ears, my whole being, to the voice of the Trainer.

He knows what my real potential is. He knows how far and how fast I can run now, and He knows how to push me to improve. He has achievable goals for me along the way, as well as an end goal in mind. He will not push me too hard, nor too little. He has the perfect training regimen for me, personalized for me. My path will not be the same as everyone else’s. He knows the places where my technique is limiting me, as well as the places where my mind, my thinking, is the only thing holding me back. He doesn’t expect me to reach the training goal today. In fact, He has set the goal out so far that I can’t possibly reach it today. He knows that I will fail. He expects it and He incorporates even that into the training process.

He does not want me to quit the training, or to punish myself for falling. He will discipline me when I need it, and He doesn’t need me to “spank” myself. If there is spanking to be done, He will do it. He is the perfect disciplinarian. He wants me to rise again to listen to His voice and to trust Him as He refines me. He wants me to walk in the freedom that He has for me; freedom to obey; freedom to walk with my head held high as a Son of the King should; freedom to stride confidently back to the line to run again. The athlete who falls and who is defeated is not eliminated or branded as a failure. He can and should rise again wiser and stronger than before. This process of failure, instruction, encouragement, and restoration is part of the right and normal cycle of life. I am being trained and this presupposes several things: First, that I require further training, I have not arrived. Second, that I am capable of more than I can accomplish currently, even more than I can imagine myself capable of. Third, that I must push myself to submit to the training to continue to move toward the prize. I must forget what is past while simultaneously gleaning the lessons to be learned and laying aside the guilt and shame of failure. God is working in me. He knows the way that my heart, mind, and body must be trained.

My responsibility is to rise again after each fall and to listen to the Trainer. He wants me to believe Him when He says that He loves me and is rooting for me even when I fail. He is for me. He has set developmental goals for me. I must rise again and again striving for the goals that He has set with trust and confidence in Him alone. I know that I will reach these goals because I can look back and see the ones He has brought me through and I can look ahead and see the One who completed the training. He will never leave me or forsake me. He will stay with me and continue to push me further than I thought I could go, even as I look ahead and see that the ultimate goal of perfection is so far from my current position. He will carry me along until I reach my heavenly home and eternal rest. Until that time I can forget what is behind and strain toward my high calling in Christ.