Training and Holiness

Somewhere along the line I learned that God has made me holy. He has called me His son and has imputed, reckoned, the righteousness of Christ to be mine. When He views me He sees me as holy because His Son was holy on my behalf. Christ’s death and resurrection have secured this positional holiness for me and it can never be lost. But what I long for is the experiential holiness; the joy producing freedom that comes from real, humble, obedient, holiness in this life.

That’s where the problem comes in. I want the intimacy, freedom and joy that comes with holiness, but the path is through humility and obedience; the two things that are most difficult for me. Maybe it’s hard because I am an American and was raised with a none-to-humble awareness of my own abilities and a confidence (perchance arrogance) that says that nothing is impossible. I have rarely been plagued by self-doubt. Maybe it’s because I am human. What human likes to submit, to obey, to humble themselves before another. Whatever the reason, I know that I find humility absolutely humiliating. I want to be the captain of my ship, the master of my destiny. I want to submit to no man, to no one. I know that this is silly and stupid. Everyone serves someone. The real question is whom will I serve. Before whom will I bow in humble submission?

I make the choice countless times a day to submit to God, and then find myself drifting inexorably back to self will and the fear of man. It is simply unnatural for a man to submit. That is the root of sin, is it not? It is pride. It is the belief that I know better; I know best. In the garden Adam and Eve bought the lie that God was trying to rip them off, to keep something good from them. All of their children have been born with this inherent (genetic?) disposition to sin, to doubt, to disobey. Why is it that I have to work so hard to train my children to obey, to submit, but that self-will comes so naturally? I have only to look in the mirror for the answer. For I am just as much a son of Adam as they are!

So the answer is training. The path of holiness, intimacy with God, joy, requires discipline and stamina; these are learned traits, not natural ones. I don’t know how many times I have “turned over a new leaf” only to whither and drop again. I get sick of myself, my failure, but God never gets sick of me. He knows exactly where I am in the process. He knows what I am capable of in Christ and also that I need to continue to train to get there. He doesn’t expect me to win the race today, but he does expect me to trust Him, to not give up, and to keep training. The image of the disapproving and disgusted parent is not from Him. He is the perfect parent, the perfect coach, the perfect role model. He has run the race before me.

He learned obedience through suffering. He ran the race and finished strong, but it was hard. He had to empty Himself and to humbly submit even when He walked through the valley of the shadow of death, entrusting Himself to the One who holds the future. He is the player coach. He ran the race and understands what it takes to run and to win because He did it. Now He ever lives to make intercession for us and He promises to always be with us and to never leave us. At every step my coach runs alongside me. His power is available to me. That is my only hope. When I fall and when I want to quit He is there. He knows what it is like to be human. He too grew in wisdom and stature. He is not disappointed when I miss the mark because His expectations for me are based on Reality. He knows how weak I am, but He is working with me to help me to grow stronger. He is at work in me as I work out my salvation with fear and trembling. This all requires more faith, more trust than I have. I have to trust that the Coach knows what He is doing. He wants me to change my swing, to adjust my grip, but it is hard to do that when my way of doing things has “worked for me” so far. So, today I choose again to submit to the coach. To believe that He is not out to get me. He does know what is best and I can submit to Him adopt His training goals and regime. I will wait on Him to see what will be produced in my life. I hope He knows what He’s doing. I believe He does.

The Paradox of Freedom

Freedom. I hear this word a lot in the news these days. It is the reason cited for all kinds of actions by all kinds of people from presidents to Palestinians, from perverts to Prime Ministers. Everybody wants freedom and everyone seems to be defining freedom according to their own desires. What is freedom? Is it simply the right to do whatever you want? That seems to be the common American definition. “I can do whatever I want!” is the cry of Western freedom. The problem with defining freedom that way is that what I “want” may or may not be good for me or for others. The pursuit of what I “want” may in fact lead me into slavery. Choices have consequences. We will reap what we sow. Is freedom the right to do whatever I want?

The World and my flesh agree that freedom is to do whatever you feel like doing, but that path leads only to death and destruction. The problem is that my desires are warped. To give into my base desires will prevent my soul from taking flight. I would be mired in addictions and selfishness. Where is the freedom in that?

There are so many lies that taste so good in our mouths. They look so sweet and satisfying; they are sweet on the tongue, but sour in the stomach. More than that, the more you eat these sweet lies, the more you want. The hunger grows in intensity the more you strive to satiate it. True food for the soul is sweet and satisfying. True food is to do the will of the Father, not out of guilt or compulsion, but out of trust. True intimacy and love leads to satisfaction and security. The false, the counterfeit, can be clearly recognized by the results it produces in the lives of those who strive after it. Ever hungry, ever dissatisfied, their striving never ceases as they continue to glut themselves on the very thing that drives their appetites to new heights.

My mind and body have been trained to think and respond to the world in ways that are self-centered and often delusional. The fact is that I do not rightly perceive the reality around me. I am like a man boldly striding through the fog; claiming to see, I am unaware of the perils or the blessings that surround me. As I wander through the fog I run into others. They encourage me that we are heading the right direction; blind guides leading the blind. My only real hope is to recognize and embrace the reality of my blindness and to trust in God as my friend and only reliable guide. He knows what is true and He knows the right path. He promises to lead me on the right path if I will trust in Him.

The paradox of freedom is that the experience of freedom that our hearts long for is only found through humble submission. When I sow obedience I reap freedom. True freedom is to trust God and to walk in His ways.

Freedom is both a choice and an experience. Most often the “struggle for freedom” is directed toward the external world, but I find that my struggle is more internal. I am struggling to find freedom from internal forces, compulsions, urges from my flesh. The other day I experienced freedom from compulsion through most of the day. I went through the day without experiencing the urge to do something that would lead me back into slavery. Then, later in the evening I felt the urge to sin rising in me. I had to choose to resist. The choice to stay in the light when the darkness beckons doesn’t feel like freedom. It is a difficult struggle. But it is the choice that makes the experience of freedom possible.

I reject the false freedom that the World strives after and holds out as the highest goal. I choose to trust and serve the Almighty God and to follow Him. Taste and see that He is good and satisfying. All His ways are good and true freedom is found in His service.