Forget to Remember

Why is it so easy to forget and so hard to remember. What is it about the nature of man, that we can learn lessons, but that we have to relearn them so often. As I read the Old Testament accounts of the people of Israel, I am shocked and appalled by how often they have to relearn the same principle or experience the same kind consequences for the same poor choice, or in some cases increasingly difficult consequences, repeatedly until they finally learn their lesson and stop making the poor choice. In their narrative I see something that is true not only for them but for all of us, not only for all of us but for me in particular.

I know that God is the Lord of the Universe, the Lord God almighty. This is an indisputable fact of history and of my own experience; and yet, I forget to remember. If I am really a servant of the King then my life should be marked by humble dependence, and from time to time it is. However, more often than I care to admit, my life is marked by selfish ambition and independence. God is faithful and just. He never leaves me or forsakes me, and so He allows me to experience the consequences of my sinful independence and He points out my skewed perspective and draws me back to Himself.

One of the ways that my skewed perspective manifests itself is through an increasing emphasis on methodology and performance rather than on prayerful submission and dependence. I find myself seeking the right formula to produce the results in my work, marriage, children, or life in general, that I am seeking. Rather than asking my Almighty Father what He would have me do and obeying Him, I try to strike out on my own and to do things that I think will please Him, or at least please me.

It’s not that there are not methodologies that work. It’s the heart that is important. I believe that there are strategies and approaches that will yield results because they line up with the way that He has designed the universe to function and/or they are in accordance with His mysterious will. The issue is one of the heart, what am I seeking? Scripture tells us to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and that the other things will be added to us. It’s the “seek first” part that is of primary importance. Once I have sought Him and declared my dependence upon Him in word and in deed (most often through time spent in the Word, prayer, and quiet reflection) I have to do something with the rest of my day. I am after all called to serve Him.

I find that when I am disciplined to start my day, or to make it a habit to spend a portion of my day, in specific pursuit of Him, that it changes my perspective and aligns me with His will and work. Often this means that I add or delete things from my to do list during my times with Him. I keep a separate piece of paper with me during my times with Him specifically to jot down these ideas as they come to me. I can’t say that all of these items are from Him specifically. I believe that some of them are, but that some are the result of the peace and stillness in my heart during those times of silence and solitude that allow me to see more clearly. My heart is like a pool in a stream that has been stirred up by a stick or other activity and the silt from the bottom has clouded the water. It takes a time of undisturbed stillness for the dust to settle at the bottom again before you can see clearly through the water to what lies beneath.

It is far too easy for me to forget to remember. I am grateful for the Father’s gentle but persistent reminders to come away with Him and to renew my commitment and help me to remember.