Humility

Andrew Murray says that the Christian life should be marked primarily and indelibly by humility. This illusive virtue is one that I am coming to understand more and yet am far from possessing. It seems that it should be obtainable, and is often spoken of in scripture, but is far from easy to really grasp or to get. How does one go about becoming humble?

Humility is primarily an inward attitude. It can’t be willed into existence any more than self-control. But it seems that there should be ways to cultivate it. It is a gift of God like faith, but with that also there is some human participation, but at a mysterious level, it is always God. It seems like humility should be something that flows from our inner man, but I recognize that it doesn’t. Only those who lack humility would claim to have achieved it. Is it possible to talk about humility with any certitude and still be humble?

It seems that humility is a true perspective on myself and God. This inner perspective is something that is difficult to move or change. Our hearts are desperately wicked and SO deceptive. I have a hard time understanding my own motivations and even actions. How many times have I found myself in a situation or in the midst of action only to wonder, “What was I thinking? How did I get here!?” I am driven by inner urgings, desires, and perspectives that I little understand. Psychology has been trying to uncover, label, and understand the things that drive us for many years, and a really insightful counselor can help to unravel some of the surface mysteries of our minds, and yet, these are mostly theories that leaves the depths of the soul untouched. This is helpful, but still leaves me puzzled by the deeper movements of my soul.

I am beginning to understand that humility is the essential virtue. I can not be fully human and find my place in this world without humility. To be all that a human can be is to be honest with our inadequacies and foibles as much as with our gifts and talents. We are all tragically flawed. We are all marred images of our creator. We are all glorious ruins that point to once and future glory, but which now are in various stages of disrepair. How can I cooperate with God in His work of re-creating my soul?

Humility is the starting point! I am a dependent creature, not the creator. I am not the Master, but rather a servant, a steward. It is true that I am also a son and have been invested with real responsibility, but I must remember that I am not the king. I am not in control, and was never meant to be in control. I need to be commanded and controlled by the One who sees the future, who knows the plans, who knows the best way forward. I simply do not understand the past or know the future. I barely know where I am now, and that imperfectly.

When I make myself the arbiter of truth and the center of my world I have bought into Satan’s primordial lie…that I can be like God. There is a God and I am not Him. When I start to live in light of the lie I have started the slide toward impoverishment and enslavement of my soul. This step away from the right understanding of my true condition is a the beginning of my descent into insanity. It is crazy to believe that I know what is best.

Perhaps humility can best be cultivated by remembering who I am and who He is. I am a weak and frail human who has been invested with true power to serve my King. The power and the gifts are all His, and so is the glory. My only task is to ask my King what He would have me do and to do that. All else is pride and insanity.