Can I please be Peter

I want to be Peter…not James. I want to be the one who is rescued and lives to glorify you in life rather than the one whose lot is to die.

I was reading in Acts 17 today, and I found that I quickly passed over the abbreviated version of events surrounding James’ martyrdom by the sword and was enthralled and encouraged by the story of Peter’s rescue by the angel. I have heard the story of Peter’s rescue many, many times, but somehow I missed the context. He was rescued just days after James was not rescued. James trusted God. James walked with God and was close to Christ. He too was one of the inner 3, Jesus’ closest companions during His earthly sojourn. But James was put to death. God did not rescue him. He let him die at the hands of evil men. Evil men rejoiced at his death and this emboldened the king to arrest Peter with every intention of killing him as well.

I could be wrong, but I do not think that I have ever heard anyone link the two deaths with a focus on James’ lot. It seems like he is often just window dressing to make Peter’s rescue more enthralling and amazing. (Indeed, it appears that is exactly what Luke intended by structuring the passage has he did.) But today, I am intrigued by James, and by the comparison of the fates of both men.

I tend to think that if I trust God he will deliver me. There is a triumphalism to my faith that seems badly out of tune with the scriptures. Did God fail James? Did James fail God? Did James lack faith? My perspective is SO man-centered. The story is about God and the accomplishment of His will. Somehow I don’t see James as being upset when he went to meet his Lord. I don’t think he was peeved about not being rescued. But why do we emphasize the miraculous intervention of God to rescue Peter.

I think that I emphasize it because I am too attached to this life. I believe that if I pray hard enough, and if I do the right things and avoid the wrong things, that God will be on my side. It’s not that God is for or against me…it’s that God IS. He is working all things together for my good. He promises that He has my best interests at heart and that everything will work out for the best for me personally as well as for His glory. This is all well and good, but what if my kids are the ones that die? What if me and my family are not Peter, but James?

There are no guarantees that by following God my life will turn out any better or easier than the next guys life. At least not by the standards that we normally use to measure such things. My father died of cancer. My wife was miraculously healed from a chronic illness. Is God only glorified in the healing. The paradox of our Message is life through death, and faith through it all. Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. I do not know what will come, but I know that everything that does come is from my God and that He has good purposes in mind, and the power to make His good purposes come to pass.

So the question is, “what if my lot is to be James rather than Peter?” Is it worth it? Is it a mistake to follow God and to trust Him, or will I leave like the others. Where else can I go? Who else has the words of eternal life? I couldn’t escape Him even if I wanted to. I don’t want to anyway. I have seen the truth of the prophets and the saints of old. I know that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him. I know that He is trustworthy and that He glorify Himself in me as He sees fit and I trust Him to work it for my benefit.