I want to be Peter…not James. I want to be the one who is rescued and lives to glorify you in life rather than the one whose lot is to die.
I was reading in Acts 17 today, and I found that I quickly passed over the abbreviated version of events surrounding James’ martyrdom by the sword and was enthralled and encouraged by the story of Peter’s rescue by the angel. I have heard the story of Peter’s rescue many, many times, but somehow I missed the context. He was rescued just days after James was not rescued. James trusted God. James walked with God and was close to Christ. He too was one of the inner 3, Jesus’ closest companions during His earthly sojourn. But James was put to death. God did not rescue him. He let him die at the hands of evil men. Evil men rejoiced at his death and this emboldened the king to arrest Peter with every intention of killing him as well.
I could be wrong, but I do not think that I have ever heard anyone link the two deaths with a focus on James’ lot. It seems like he is often just window dressing to make Peter’s rescue more enthralling and amazing. (Indeed, it appears that is exactly what Luke intended by structuring the passage has he did.) But today, I am intrigued by James, and by the comparison of the fates of both men.
I tend to think that if I trust God he will deliver me. There is a triumphalism to my faith that seems badly out of tune with the scriptures. Did God fail James? Did James fail God? Did James lack faith? My perspective is SO man-centered. The story is about God and the accomplishment of His will. Somehow I don’t see James as being upset when he went to meet his Lord. I don’t think he was peeved about not being rescued. But why do we emphasize the miraculous intervention of God to rescue Peter.
I think that I emphasize it because I am too attached to this life. I believe that if I pray hard enough, and if I do the right things and avoid the wrong things, that God will be on my side. It’s not that God is for or against me…it’s that God IS. He is working all things together for my good. He promises that He has my best interests at heart and that everything will work out for the best for me personally as well as for His glory. This is all well and good, but what if my kids are the ones that die? What if me and my family are not Peter, but James?
There are no guarantees that by following God my life will turn out any better or easier than the next guys life. At least not by the standards that we normally use to measure such things. My father died of cancer. My wife was miraculously healed from a chronic illness. Is God only glorified in the healing. The paradox of our Message is life through death, and faith through it all. Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. I do not know what will come, but I know that everything that does come is from my God and that He has good purposes in mind, and the power to make His good purposes come to pass.
So the question is, “what if my lot is to be James rather than Peter?” Is it worth it? Is it a mistake to follow God and to trust Him, or will I leave like the others. Where else can I go? Who else has the words of eternal life? I couldn’t escape Him even if I wanted to. I don’t want to anyway. I have seen the truth of the prophets and the saints of old. I know that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him. I know that He is trustworthy and that He glorify Himself in me as He sees fit and I trust Him to work it for my benefit.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Faithfulness and Infidelity
If God is the center of my life, then why is it that I spend almost all day every day doing things that are only tangentially, at best, related to Him? Why do I live every day like a practical atheist? For all practical purposes I do what I want to do when I want to do it. This is very far from the model that I see in Christ and in others in scripture. Jesus is quite clear that both His words and his actions are from the Father. He even goes so far as to say that the Son can do nothing by Himself, but only that which He sees the Father doing.
I am SO far from this! I find that most of my life I live without any awareness of the spiritual world. I go through me day, eating and drinking, working and sleeping, like a man caught in the Matrix, as if everything around me is the “real” world and is very important. My interactions with others only serve to confirm me in my wrong-headedness . We all scurry around with our self-important tasks, when something massive, important, and REAL lurks just beneath the surface.
I know that God’s Holy Spirit is living in me, and I am more and more convinced that I grieve him many times every day. It is as if I am married and I have declared my love to my beloved, but everyday, hundreds of times a day my beloved reaches out to me, only to be repeatedly rebuffed and rejected as I quickly move past on my way from something to somewhere. I communicate time after time each day that my beloved is not important to me. I do not consult my beloved when I make my plans. I do not invite my beloved to come along and to participate in my activities. My spouse is so faithful and loves me so much and wounds me so little. My beloved is always there but rarely acknowledged, constantly serving but rarely thanked, repeatedly spurned but remains loyal and true.
My beloved has been cuckolded innumerable times by her chosen one in the history of the world, and in the daily history of my life. I have even asked my beloved to introduce me to the adulterous woman and to arrange for a meeting with her. I have begged my beloved to give me more resources to spend on my affairs. I have used the riches that my beloved has brought to me to spend them on fulfilling my own selfish desires. Daily I declare my love and remorse, but daily I return to my sin like a dog returns to his vomit. And then I wonder why I experience almost nothing of the sweet fellowship with my beloved that the scriptures and the great saints that have gone before me speak about.
Who can save me from this cycle of sin and death? Thanks be to Christ my Lord and Savior! He has purchased me back from sin and death. As many times as I disobey and offer myself back into slavery to sin, He redeems me and restores me. He pardons me and then tells me to go and sin no more. More than that, he give me the power to choose the good things that will strengthen my soul so that when the temptation comes again I will not be found weak and unaware. He charges me to remain alert and to seek Him first. He warns me that there is an enemy out there who is searching for someone to devour. He promises to never leave me or forsake me, but to be with me always. He gives me everything that I need for life and godliness. There is no good gift that He will withhold from me, but rather he delights to give all good gifts to His spouse. He is making me pure and blameless to present me to the Father. He is my lover, my brother, my father, my friend, my compatriot, my co-sufferer, my commander, my advocate, my redeemer. He is all that I need. I need only to listen to His voice and to learn to obey Him. I must hearken to his voice everyday and attune my ears to pick out his voice among the clamor of the day. Then… I must trust and obey.
I am SO far from this! I find that most of my life I live without any awareness of the spiritual world. I go through me day, eating and drinking, working and sleeping, like a man caught in the Matrix, as if everything around me is the “real” world and is very important. My interactions with others only serve to confirm me in my wrong-headedness . We all scurry around with our self-important tasks, when something massive, important, and REAL lurks just beneath the surface.
I know that God’s Holy Spirit is living in me, and I am more and more convinced that I grieve him many times every day. It is as if I am married and I have declared my love to my beloved, but everyday, hundreds of times a day my beloved reaches out to me, only to be repeatedly rebuffed and rejected as I quickly move past on my way from something to somewhere. I communicate time after time each day that my beloved is not important to me. I do not consult my beloved when I make my plans. I do not invite my beloved to come along and to participate in my activities. My spouse is so faithful and loves me so much and wounds me so little. My beloved is always there but rarely acknowledged, constantly serving but rarely thanked, repeatedly spurned but remains loyal and true.
My beloved has been cuckolded innumerable times by her chosen one in the history of the world, and in the daily history of my life. I have even asked my beloved to introduce me to the adulterous woman and to arrange for a meeting with her. I have begged my beloved to give me more resources to spend on my affairs. I have used the riches that my beloved has brought to me to spend them on fulfilling my own selfish desires. Daily I declare my love and remorse, but daily I return to my sin like a dog returns to his vomit. And then I wonder why I experience almost nothing of the sweet fellowship with my beloved that the scriptures and the great saints that have gone before me speak about.
Who can save me from this cycle of sin and death? Thanks be to Christ my Lord and Savior! He has purchased me back from sin and death. As many times as I disobey and offer myself back into slavery to sin, He redeems me and restores me. He pardons me and then tells me to go and sin no more. More than that, he give me the power to choose the good things that will strengthen my soul so that when the temptation comes again I will not be found weak and unaware. He charges me to remain alert and to seek Him first. He warns me that there is an enemy out there who is searching for someone to devour. He promises to never leave me or forsake me, but to be with me always. He gives me everything that I need for life and godliness. There is no good gift that He will withhold from me, but rather he delights to give all good gifts to His spouse. He is making me pure and blameless to present me to the Father. He is my lover, my brother, my father, my friend, my compatriot, my co-sufferer, my commander, my advocate, my redeemer. He is all that I need. I need only to listen to His voice and to learn to obey Him. I must hearken to his voice everyday and attune my ears to pick out his voice among the clamor of the day. Then… I must trust and obey.
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