Training and Holiness

Somewhere along the line I learned that God has made me holy. He has called me His son and has imputed, reckoned, the righteousness of Christ to be mine. When He views me He sees me as holy because His Son was holy on my behalf. Christ’s death and resurrection have secured this positional holiness for me and it can never be lost. But what I long for is the experiential holiness; the joy producing freedom that comes from real, humble, obedient, holiness in this life.

That’s where the problem comes in. I want the intimacy, freedom and joy that comes with holiness, but the path is through humility and obedience; the two things that are most difficult for me. Maybe it’s hard because I am an American and was raised with a none-to-humble awareness of my own abilities and a confidence (perchance arrogance) that says that nothing is impossible. I have rarely been plagued by self-doubt. Maybe it’s because I am human. What human likes to submit, to obey, to humble themselves before another. Whatever the reason, I know that I find humility absolutely humiliating. I want to be the captain of my ship, the master of my destiny. I want to submit to no man, to no one. I know that this is silly and stupid. Everyone serves someone. The real question is whom will I serve. Before whom will I bow in humble submission?

I make the choice countless times a day to submit to God, and then find myself drifting inexorably back to self will and the fear of man. It is simply unnatural for a man to submit. That is the root of sin, is it not? It is pride. It is the belief that I know better; I know best. In the garden Adam and Eve bought the lie that God was trying to rip them off, to keep something good from them. All of their children have been born with this inherent (genetic?) disposition to sin, to doubt, to disobey. Why is it that I have to work so hard to train my children to obey, to submit, but that self-will comes so naturally? I have only to look in the mirror for the answer. For I am just as much a son of Adam as they are!

So the answer is training. The path of holiness, intimacy with God, joy, requires discipline and stamina; these are learned traits, not natural ones. I don’t know how many times I have “turned over a new leaf” only to whither and drop again. I get sick of myself, my failure, but God never gets sick of me. He knows exactly where I am in the process. He knows what I am capable of in Christ and also that I need to continue to train to get there. He doesn’t expect me to win the race today, but he does expect me to trust Him, to not give up, and to keep training. The image of the disapproving and disgusted parent is not from Him. He is the perfect parent, the perfect coach, the perfect role model. He has run the race before me.

He learned obedience through suffering. He ran the race and finished strong, but it was hard. He had to empty Himself and to humbly submit even when He walked through the valley of the shadow of death, entrusting Himself to the One who holds the future. He is the player coach. He ran the race and understands what it takes to run and to win because He did it. Now He ever lives to make intercession for us and He promises to always be with us and to never leave us. At every step my coach runs alongside me. His power is available to me. That is my only hope. When I fall and when I want to quit He is there. He knows what it is like to be human. He too grew in wisdom and stature. He is not disappointed when I miss the mark because His expectations for me are based on Reality. He knows how weak I am, but He is working with me to help me to grow stronger. He is at work in me as I work out my salvation with fear and trembling. This all requires more faith, more trust than I have. I have to trust that the Coach knows what He is doing. He wants me to change my swing, to adjust my grip, but it is hard to do that when my way of doing things has “worked for me” so far. So, today I choose again to submit to the coach. To believe that He is not out to get me. He does know what is best and I can submit to Him adopt His training goals and regime. I will wait on Him to see what will be produced in my life. I hope He knows what He’s doing. I believe He does.