What does it all mean?

Today, as I was reading in Luke, I was struck by a passage that my eyes have glazed over countless times. You may not believe it, but I was arrested by the genealogy of Jesus. Not by the names that we know like David, Jessie, Abraham, or Adam, but by all the other names. Names of men that we know nothing else about.

As I sat reflecting on the passage I was struck by the fact that these men lived entire lives about which we know absolutely nothing. They were born into families that we know nothing about. They went through formative experiences as they were growing up that we know nothing about. They fell in love with women that we know nothing about. They had weddings that we know nothing about. They had children that we know nothing about. They suffered diseases and hardships that we know nothing about, and they died in ways that we know nothing about. Their entire lives are lost to us, but we do know that they were an indispensable link in the chain of life that produced the Savior of the world.

These men had no idea about the real significance of their lives. They lived and died without an inkling of how their lives fit into the grand narrative of history. We too have no real idea of why we are here and what our lives mean. We seldom understand the past, only occasionally grasp the significance of the present, and have no capacity to predict, let alone understand, the future. We live all our lives like men shooting in the dark, barely comprehending what we are shooting at and rarely knowing if we even hit it.

The beauty of knowing God is that He knows the future. He knows why we are here, each of us individually. He knows the work that He has prepared for us to do. He knows the gifts He has given us. He knows what it all means, and He promises to be with us in the midst of it and work it all together for good. All this is just to rephrase something my father used to say: "I don't know the future, but I know the one who knows the future."

Hide and Seek

I find myself engaged in a sort of game of hide and seek with God. In one sense I have always been playing the game where I am hiding from Him, like Adam in the garden, and He is patiently seeking me. I hid from Him for many years and used many strategies to avoid discovery. I was afraid of his soul penetrating gaze. I was afraid I would be caught and uncovered. I was certain that I could not stand naked and unashamed before Him. So, I hid.

To my surprise, I found much joy and relief when He finally caught me. I finally surrendered myself and purposed to not hide from Him, or from myself, any longer. The ruthless self assessment and the stripping that has followed, have revealed that I was even worse off than I thought, but that He was even better than I dreamed. He has patiently been pursuing me and healing me all these years.

That, however, is not the game of hide and seek that I am pondering this morning. Today, I find myself reflecting on the divine hider. I feel like we have switched roles. Now, I am the one who is seeking and He is the one who is hiding; not in a mean spirited way, but rather in a playful way.

It is a sort of romantic hide and seek. He is beckoning me on, and is playfully hiding, all the while leaving clues as to where we will have our next hidden rendezvous. He hides to see if I will pursue. When I find that I can not help but pursue I discover that He has become and is becoming the desire of my heart. This is a welcome discovery and, I believe, is at least part of His reason for playing this game with me. He is demonstrating to me that I really do love Him. Through my doubts, through my fears, through the places that still need healing, I have grown to love Him. I am growing and changing after all!

So, I will seek my God though I only see Him now through a glass darkly. Someday I will know Him as He knows me. I will see Him fully and completely as He sees me. Then, I suppose He will teach me other games to play.