Actions speak louder than words. I remember hearing that a lot as a child. I remember wondering why my parents chose to spout that particular piece of homespun wisdom so often in my direction. I don’t wonder any more.
I have such good intentions, but my actions do not always reflect my intentions. I think that this has been a perennial problem for me. As long as I can remember I have had plans and intentions to do certain things and to accomplish goals. I am the master of fits and starts. I bolt out of the gate with zeal and passion only to founder as the finish line seems a bit too far, and hey look over there, that looks like fun, and pretty soon I am off track and the goal for which I had such enthusiasm has faded into the background of my life. I remember it with some guilt from time to time, but the momentum of my new interests or the inertia of my own laziness helps me to push it away.
So, are the intentions of my heart the most important thing, or is it my actions that are the key indicator of the true state of my heart. This morning as I was reading I was in Proverbs 20 and was struck by verse 11: Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is good and right. Then I was reminded of the Galatians 6 passage: “A man reaps what he sows” and “do not become weary in doing good.” Then, I am reminded of the final verse of Ecclesiastes which says that each man will be judged by God according to what we do whether it is good or evil. Then this reminded me of the Matthew passage where Jesus says that the only difference between the sheep and the goats was what they did and didn’t do.
At this point I realized that I was in serious trouble. My good intentions and professions of purpose were not the point. The Scriptures were clear that what I did was more important than what I said and were in fact my actions are the revealers of my heart. What I say and intend is not the important thing, not the thing that will be judged. My actions will be judged for my actions are the most clear and irrefutable proof of what is happening in my heart.
It’s true that our heart intentions are important. Obviously the same outward action can be motivated by good or evil intentions of or the heart depending on circumstances. For example in some circumstances it would be right and just according to the scriptures, and in other circumstances it would be wrong and an affront to God. I am not concerned about that at this point.
What concerns me is that I am aware of my weakness in a new way today. I am again faced with the fact that my parents knew me, and my Lord knows me, better than I know myself. Actions do indeed speak louder than words, or even intentions!
So, where do I go from here? Do I redouble my efforts by making a number of vows to do better in implementing my previous vows? Do I bolt out of the blocks on a new race for integrity of action and intention? I find myself somewhat paralyzed as I realize that the answer can not lie in the same pattern of good but uncompleted goals and intentions. I must find a new path forward.
It seems that part of the answer is found in another portion of Proverbs 20. Verse 25 warns us not to make vows rashly before the Lord. Could it be that all He really wants is for me to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Him? Therein lies the rub! I want a meta-solution. It is exactly at this point where my problem lies. What I need to do is to spend time seeking Him each day. He has good works which He has prepared in advance for me to do. Before the foundation of the world He was loving me and designing me to accomplish His goals during my time here on earth. He has given me gifts and talents to use for Him and I would be foolish to let my intentions get in the way of what He has for me. I need to be with Him and to listen and obey. His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and I find that obeying Him leads me where I want to go anyway. Maybe not now, but ultimately.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
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