God Speaks in Mysterious Ways

I am amazed at the personal and individual way that God speaks to us, to me. When I spend time pursuing Him and I work to eliminate some of the extraneous noise I find that He will sneak up on me and touch me in the most unlikely ways. Just this morning I was listening to Audio Adrenaline and I suddenly found myself moved to tears by the simplicity and unspeakable blessing of the gospel. That God would love me and pour out every blessing on me. That He would secure my inheritance and allow me to taste some of it here. That I am an heir to the throne of heaven, a prince in the household of God. I know that rock music is not a means of grace for many people, but it is for me from time to time. I have had similar experiences with Sonicflood, P.O.D, U2, Lost Dogs, and Bob Dylan just to name a few recent divine musical encounters. It is not the music in and of itself. In fact, that’s not even what the songs were about this morning. It is that God plays a game of tag with me. Sometimes when I least expect it He suddenly touches my heart and moves me deeply. This doesn’t happen in a vacuum. When I have spent time pursuing Him, when I draw near to Him through practicing the spiritual disciplines He draws near to me. But not always when I expect it.

The day before yesterday I had a spiritual retreat. I went away and spent 8 hours in solitude and silence. I was reading, praying, contemplating, journaling, and consciously seeking the face of God. I came away at peace and encouraged, but without any sort of “lightening bolt” experience. I came home and told my wife that I had a good time, but nothing earth shattering. I have often experienced breakthroughs and insights during my spiritual retreats so I came home a bit disappointed. I know that was a bit childish and I talked about even that with the Lord. Since then I have continued to seek Him and have experienced peace and joy in my heart and in my interactions with others. I recognized that I needed to pursue Him and to wait on Him in obedience and truth regardless of whatever experience I did or did not have.

In the last few weeks I have sought God often and while I have heard from Him on occasion, I had not experienced the intimate touch that I so longed for. I have been diligent and obedient, although far from perfect in my pursuit of Him or avoidance of sin. I have experienced Him as real and present by somehow distant or silent. But this morning I experienced the sweet intimacy with the Lord that I had sought.

I find my relationship with my wife and kids like this as well. Sometimes I want a really deep and meaningful interaction with them, but these things can’t be manufactured. There is a providential serendipity about them. But when I spend time with them, loving and serving them as I should then I create an environment where the blessed event that I seek can take place. Intimacy isn’t created in a moment, but through the patient, selfless, serving pursuit of another soul, human or divine. When I seek to please my Lord, my wife, my children, and to bless them then eventually the fruit of that will be sweet intimacy. When I seek to claim that intimacy like a “right” or to force intimacy on another it is a base form of selfishness akin to rape. We can never force another soul to open itself to us and to share the deepest parts of them with us. That is like forcing a plant to grow or a flower to open. Instead we must patiently and lovingly cultivate the soil, plant the seed, pull the weeds, and continue to water and nurture it until quite suddenly we find that it has blossomed into the beauty that we knew it was capable of. In our mechanistic age of efficiency and production this kind of patient cultivation of a process that is beyond our control can be frustrating, but in the end it is the only way, the God ordained way, to develop our human and divine relationships.

God cannot be raped. He will not submit Himself to us because we expect or demand it. He is all powerful and all wise. He will come to us in the way we most need it and in the time we most need it. Only He knows what is best for us and He will never fail to deliver exactly what we need. Learning to trust and love Him when He seems to be silent is part of the process of cultivation.